Meet Cute
by ClockRepair
Summary: Ino and Shikamaru manage to have the grossest meet cute in history.


"Ino, you alright?"

They didn't call Ino One-and-Done for nothing. The girl was a classic lightweight and after one too many incidents where someone had to pick her drunk ass off the floor after a single cooler, Ino was determined to shed her embarrassing title. The only one who had it worse than her was Rock Lee, who would engage in wild, drunken fistfights and make newspaper headlines from all of the property damage he caused. Now that Rock Lee was legally kept sober at all times, Ino was officially the public spectacle during parties and there was no way she was going to be under the Green Beast on the social ladder. She had to build up her tolerance and fast.

The blonde waved her hand casually at her best friend to show her she was fine, right before wrapping her arms over her middle in what she hoped was an inconspicuous move. She could feel the alcohol sloshing around in her stomach and she was wondering how long she could manage without throwing up. It was a miracle that she was still standing upright.

"Do you want some water?" Sakura pressed on. "You can have some of mine."

"I'm fine! As you can see, I still have this drink to polish off," Ino replied, shaking her near empty glass. She took one last sip to prove her point, where the alcohol just grazed her tongue, but that was enough to push her passed her limits. Ino felt her stomach clench.

Ino managed to mumble an "I'll be back" before she marched off with her head held high. Even if her insides were coiling and she felt like death, she would not let her peers have the satisfaction of seeing her embarrass herself. Again.

"Whoo! Ino!" Kiba slurred, his upper body hanging over the stairway rail so he could be at eye-level with her. His fist was held out to her in the hopes that she would bump him back. "You're officially Two-and-Through now! Good job!"

Ino clenched her jaw to refrain from yelling some obscenities at the Inuzuka, ignoring his fist as it neared her persons, and stomped off through the back door with what little dignity she had left.

At this point, Ino realized she'd only manage to maintain her composure all this time through sheer will power as she clung onto the walls in order to make her way around Kiba's house.

Ino was looking forward to relieving herself in peace until she saw that someone had beat her there.

Shikamura Nara's back was facing her but she could recognize that boy at any angle. He was hunched over with his left hand against the wall to steady himself, his right arm over his middle, and, from the noises that she could hear, he was retching pretty hard. Under normal circumstances, Ino would have backed away and avoid interacting with Shikamaru in such a compromised condition, but she was nauseous and she couldn't keep it in anymore and his own vomiting was making her gag too.

Shikamaru sensed that he wasn't alone and looked over his shoulder just in time to see Ino double over to hydro-pump all over the wall, which triggered his own gag reflex. For the first time since their academy days, Shikamaru and Ino were both in sync with one another and if it wasn't for the gross circumstance of their reunion, they would have (reluctantly) admitted that it was kind of nice.

Shikamaru and Ino shuffled away from their little vomit pools and sat with their backs slumped against the wall. They were shoulder to shoulder, warm from the alcohol, and disheveled and dehydrated and sweaty from their shared activity.

"You know what," Shikamaru said, breaking the silence. His arm was over his eyes to stop the world from spinning. "I think you got The Exorcist beat."

Ino wiped her mouth one last time. "I do not. You were out here for longer than I ever was and you were throwing up the entire time!"

"Duration does not equal volume," he retorted, removing his arm and shooting her a smug look.

"This is disgusting," said Ino (and is probably what all of the readers are currently thinking about this fic). "We do not have to analyze this."

"I'm sorry. I'm just surprised that that much came out of you when you probably ingested, like, a shot of gin and five ounces of tonic water."

"Ugh I am so tired of being referred to as One and Done." Ino pushed Shikamaru from off her shoulder, but in her weakened state, she just managed to nudge him over before he fell back against her. "And for your information, I had more than one drink tonight so there!"

"Hey, no shame. You're a cheap drunk. You won't cost your next date too much money when you guys go out." Shikamaru noticed Ino cross her arms over her chest and averting her gaze to her lap and sensed that wasn't the right thing to say. "Look, since we shared this gross experience together, I'll fill you in a little secret: I'm a lightweight too."

Ino sputtered. "No fucking way. You're still messing with me, right?"

"No I'm not. One drink and I'm fine but when I mix in that second, I'm a mess. The only reason why they don't call me something stupid like they do to you –"

"Like Two and Through?" Ino interjected.

"'Two and Through"… that's actually pretty clever," he mumbled to himself. "Yeah, so basically the only reason why I don't have some stupid nickname is because people think I'm too lazy to talk to them when, in actuality, I'm just dying on the inside to talk to anyone because I am literally THAT drunk."

"Wow. We're both real hot messes."

"Emphasis on hot." Shikamaru groaned as he attempted to stand up. He offered his hand to her and she grabbed onto it like a lifeline. The boy was unmotivated and slow but he wasn't weak. He pulled her into a standing position without any sign of struggle and wrapped his arm around her waist when she began to stagger. "Okay, let's slowly make our way to the back, hose ourselves off, and integrate ourselves back to the party before anyone notices."

"For a guy who thinks everything is too troublesome, it sounds like you care a lot about what others think of you. You put on a real persona at these parties."

He side eyed her. "So maybe we're not so different from each other."

Was that his way of calling her vain?

Ino gently hip checked her estranged classmate and he slapped her butt. She laughed and popped her foot up so she hit his butt too.

It was a strange turn of events for their relationship.

Once they were back with the others, everyone was wondering why Ino and Shikamaru were snuggled up against each other on the couch, fast asleep. No one had the heart to approach them, let alone wake them up to interrogate the pair, because they reeked like sweat and puke.

However, Kiba did eventually find the giant vomit pool at the side of his house, so Ino's One and Done and Two and Through monikers were quickly replaced with Yacking Yamanaka.

 **ClockRepair Message:** I was trying to do a series of short meet cutes between various Naruto couples but the others aren't really working out. This was the best one I could come up with. Not my best but maybe someone will find some humour from it.


End file.
